Saturday, 21 January 2006

Split Personality?

I thought that I'd introduce Joyce to the blogosphere and its bloggers. Joyce has no idea how to use a computer and is not quite a technophobe as a technoignoramus. She's in her twenties but has only been in existence for a few months really, as Joyce lives in me. She is a construct of my imagination and sometimes I let her out to play.

It started when I played the part of Joyce, a British dimbo, in last year's One Act Plays. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the role, the only aspect of her that I kept was in fact the name, because the current existence of Joyce is as a stereotypical personal household cleaner aka a seftura. In no way is this meant to be some profound socio-economic analysis of people in this profession. I don’t mean to be a snob either so please don’t read the following in any way other than a humorous one. It’s a mere escape from the inevitable boredom that one’s life sometimes offers.

So Joyce hails from Zejtun, is married to Twanny, and has a daughter named Phylisienne Fleur de Lys. ’Phylisienne wara n-nanna, u Fleur de Lys fejn giet ikoncepita (a la Posh u Beckham)’. As you can tell Joyce likes to keep up with celebrity gossip, and names for future children include Brungiela (a la ‘Apple’ ta Gwyneth). Every morning Joyce catches the bus to take her to Sliema where she goes to clean for the sinjura. And on the bus she catches up with her friend Violet, who also lives in Zejtun and is also a dedicated sanitary controller. Violet is married to Ganni, and has a grown daughter Lisa Marie Presley Chircop, as she is an Elvis fanatic. Better than calling her Mini Minor fejn giet ikoncepita. Violet is a fair bit older than Joyce and has never been away from Malta as she doesn’t trust ‘kif l-ajruplani joqoghdu hemm fuq wahedhom’. She will not visit her husband’s sister who lives in Sicily ”sakemm jibnu pont”. “Lisa Marie Presley lahqet go skola… tnaddaf l-ufficju tas-surmast.” So Violet is very proud of her, although she doesn’t let her go to Paceville because she’s heard horror stories. They’re also got a dog, a white poodle, called Jewel of the Nile. Violet’s sinjura also lives in Sliema but is soon moving to Portomaso, giving Violet an extra room to clean, since she and her husband each have their own bedrooms in the new place. Joyce and Violet don’t understand the concept but say nothing.

I sometimes change into Joyce mid-conversation which surprises whoever I’m talking to but it’s a laugh. When you suddenly go “iiiiiiii kos, x’affarijiet dawn” it’s funny in any situation.


  1. "Better than calling her Mini Minor fejn giet ikoncepita." the back seat of your Cadillac......


  2. LOL I just heard that song on the radio this afternoon! (ok it's a bit unrelated to the post...)

    good post :)

    Brungiela (a la ‘Apple’ ta Gwyneth)


  3. back seat of your Cadillac

    I don't really like it though

  4. Oooooh Joyce was a scream!!! Looking forward to meeting her again :-)


Hi! Thanks for reading my blog. I look forward to your comments - let me know what you think :)

FYI: Comments are moderated