Is social media the demise of blogging?

Yes, I'm a crap blogger and I'm not even going to apologise for it. Let's just say that the past year has been one helluva bumpy ride and the moon landing was probably smoother than my 2015/16.

(The above intro was actually written about 3-4 months ago... and left in Draft, but since it still applies I decided to keep it. Plus ca change.)

Fellow local blogger, Island Fairy, mentioned that her social media accounts, Instagram in particular, have caused her blog to start dying somewhat and I can totally understand where she's coming from. Social media is so instant that we've lost the need to save our photos for a great blog post, because it's faster and easier to snap and share. And once the sharing is done, then what's the point of creating a post with the same photos? (Ok, the reason would actually be that you have different audiences on different platforms, but you get the gist).

She also did a little round-up about who she is for those who follow her on social media but may not be aware of her blog, and therefore have no background to her. It was a great idea and even I found out some things that I didn't know!

As writers I think we tend to struggle when our writing platforms are replaced by competing, yet equally compelling, other platforms. They eliminate the 'chore' that blogging sometimes brings with it, leading to the question: Do people blog because they love to write? Or do they love to share their stories online?

I don't think that it's as black and white as that and I certainly don't have any research at hand to be able to provide an answer, but I do think that people who love to write struggle when that love encounters the dreaded writer's block; the want to express your thoughts but they're just stuck in your head as fragmented pieces, rather than eloquent, flowing sentences. So, let's share a photo instead that can tell the story in an instant snap. It's a solution to the problem, though somewhat of a Pyrrhic victory at the same time.

It's very evident that the blogging block hit me hard when you just look at the date of the previous post - December 2015! Seven months ago. Two seasons ago. Last year! 

Time takes on a whole new meaning when kids are involved. "The days are long, but the years are short" - this is Gretchen Rubin's Third Splendid Truth in her book The Happiness Project (there will be another blog post about that - hopefully). 

Last night, however, I had words inside my head that needed to come out. Obviously that was also the moment when my WiFi wasn't working and therefore I couldn't blog about them at that moment as I would have liked to. Thankfully today, they're still there and the moment hasn't dissipated. I'm hoping that it lasts a bit longer this time.

Handbag Dilemma

Yes, you can judge this post by the title and safely assume that it's going to be 'trivial' but there really is such a thing as a handbag dilemma, I believe.

See, I tend to buy a new bag and use it to death, and then repeat the process with another bag, and then with another, and you get the picture. The problem is that I end up properly ruining these bags which is a shame because I'm sure that if I treated them a bit better they'd last a lot longer. 

How do I manage to ruin them you might ask? Well, mainly it's because I carry around too much stuff that I don't need but keep with me just in case! I have a pouch that contains a notebook, a pen, tampons, a bag holder, a power bank and cord, a hair clip and probably a couple of other things too. All important stuff really, but it does add to the weight. Then there's my oversized purse, numerous keys, an umbrella, mobile phone, another (larger) notebook and typically something of Tom's (item of clothing, toy, water flask, etc). 

And the reason that I carry all this stuff is because the bag is big enough but when the handles start fraying it's clear that it's not strong enough. 

So last summer I treated myself to a medium-sized Longchamp LePliage bag which is all kinds of awesome but I've already noticed the bottom getting scuffed - and that bothers me. So I'm now trying to take better care of my bags, but in the meantime I'm also on the lookout for a new one (of course!). 

I'd love to get a small Longchamp in dark grey and I also loved one of the Radley totes, but was then very disappointed to find that they don't ship to Malta (bye bye 50% online discount). 

Does anyone else suffer from this same dilemma or are you all super diligent with your belongings?

Award Nominee

Those who know me personally know that I work in digital marketing, mainly on social media. It's a role that I fell into really but one that I love and that gives me great satisfaction, so it was amazing when I found out that the company I work for were chosen as finalists in the local eBusiness Awards for 'Best Use of Social Media'. For me it's a personal nomination and one that I truly hope we will win because it would just be the cherry on the cake, especially when I consider that I work 'reduced hours' - officially, but I'm often at my laptop late into the evening and checking work's social media accounts at the weekend. 

The awards night is at the end of February/beginning of March (date is yet to be confirmed) so I've still got a couple of months to wait but in the meantime, I'm allowing myself to feel pleased and proud by my work and achievements.

Where's my break?

Life is busy at the moment - very busy, to the point of being hectic. But it's 'temporary' - well, some parts are temporary, that's not to say that they won't be replaced by something else! But I like busy. 

In fact, this was the first weekend in a very long time that I wasn't 'working'. I still had work from home to do, but I didn't have any shifts scheduled. I almost didn't know what to do with myself - so I had a shower and a nap! Exciting, huh? :)

Of course, what I really need is a weekend away near a pool or the sea with a cocktail bar close by :)

The Tough Times

There's so much that I can write, and yet cannot. There's a lot going on at the moment and sometimes I feel that I'm running on automatic just running from one appointment to the next and moving from one task to another.

One thing that I've noticed is how subjective 'tiredness' is. In years past I remember being tired, properly tired and yet now that I have a child, my level of tiredness is just so different. But neither is better or worse than the other because they both take their toll. 

Having said that I'm also amazed at how versatile and resilient the human body is. We adapt. Interrupted sleep, doing as much as possible within half an hour (and succeeding), carrying a few (increasing) kilos in your arms every single day... it just becomes second nature. And I live in the hope of the 'one day he'll sleep throughout the night; it's just a matter of time' idea. Until then I typically go to sleep at around 22:00 because I know that there's another long day waiting just past midnight.

But it's all worth it. Even on the super tough days - and there are many of those, or at least many moments within a day - it's worth it. And although there will be tough times ahead there will also be better times; times that will make the sacrifices, doubts and hard decisions all worthwhile. 

Back to Blogging 2015

I just finished a 36-hour course on Digital Marketing which has revived my interest in this blog and the data and stats that run in the background. 

I've always been interested in Digital Marketing as a practice and am definitely glad to say that it's my full-time job; however, this course delved into the back end of all digital marketing efforts, rather than the 'front end' and it piqued my interest in the viewers of this blog - although I definitely understand that these would have dwindled given my lack of new content.

So this is my renewed attempt to generate new content and breathe some life back here. As always I still remain a no obligation blogger - with a toddler I don't really have much choice!

The All-Knowing yet Elusive Baby Advice

Tom is 2 months (and a week) old - already! It feels like time is flying, yet it also feels like he's been with us forever. Every day is like the previous, yet also different. I suppose that's a good thing because the familiarity is reassuring, yet the changes keep it 'interesting'. Although it can be increasingly frustrating when you think that you've got something figured out and then there's some developmental phase or growth spurt that throws a spanner in the wheels.

The hour change is such a blessing for me. The dark evenings made the first month that bit more difficult, in my opinion. Having more light at the end of the day just gives me that extra boost. And that can make all the difference in the world when there's a baby involved.

I'm starting to take all these baby expert articles with a (large) pinch of salt because, whilst there is some very good advice out there, they seem to be written to make you doubt yourself and have you wondering whether your baby has one of the 'symptoms' they're talking about. More often than not they don't and it's just a baby being a baby. So I keep reminding myself to trust my instincts and make the most of every day because, after all, does it get better when they're older? Or is it just another set of hurdles?

Giveaway winner

It's always nice to have a little pick-me-up, so I was very pleasantly surprised and happy to be the winner of Elle's March Giveaway. A lovely little bundle of make-up is always welcome. I love the nude palette of eye-shadow and one of the lip glosses already lives in my handbag. The nail polishes are waiting until I get myself a manicure and my hands and nails get some much-needed TLC. 

I definitely recommend following Elle for some great make-up tips and advice. And some lovely giveaways too. 

Louis Vuitton - The One I Like

I was never a fan of the classic dark brown monogrammed Louis Vuitton bags. I always thought that they were too obvious and billboard-ish. The blatant LV displayed all over is just too much for me. However, there is an LV bag that I do love. It's stylish, classic and chic. What do you think?

Motherhood

People have asked me how motherhood is treating me and how I feel about it. Truthfully, I now adore it. It was tough in the beginning but the "it'll get better" mantra that other mothers preached is in fact true. We're six and a half weeks in and things are already better. The fact that the weather is warmer has also helped tremendously. We go out for a walk every day and the fresh air and sunshine are so welcome. It also helps him sleep which is never amiss.

I also have no issues with the fact that I'm bottle feeding. When I started I knew that it was the way to go and Tom took to it without any problems, but there was always that nagging feeling at the back of my mind. The guilt of not 'trying harder' and battling the pain - although I tried as much as I could and I do believe that my pain was not the 'normal' pain that comes with bf. And also the feeling of inadequacy. 

I spoke to other mothers and I was told to keep at it and that it'll get better. Unfortunately it wasn't/didn't so it really wasn't what I wanted to hear. All I wanted was for someone to say, 'Stop beating yourself up. You tried and that's great. Now feed your baby in the manner that is best for the both of you.' And I think there are many other mothers out there who need to hear those words. They need to be said/written/shared.

It seems that parenthood-land is currently going through a 'natural phase'. Unless you breast-feed and prepare your own food for your child then you're frowned upon - most often, sadly, by other mothers. I wish that we'd realise that we're all in the same boat and that whilst advice is welcome, opinions are probably best kept to oneself unless asked for.

The Infamous 'First Three Months'

This blog post may be somewhat disconnected and not flow too well. I'm just typing out thoughts as they pop into my head.

Everyone says that the first 2-3 months with a new baby are the most tough and I believe it's because everything is so new. Unfortunately babies don't come with manuals but there's a veritable amount of useful information out there that is definitely helpful. And more than that there are people out there who have been through the same experiences and their advice is worth its weigh in gold. 

Maureen of Island Fairy shared this blog post with me and there are contributions from several mothers who describe their experiences. The theme that stood out the most for me was that most women said that they needed to remind themselves that they are doing the best that they can, and that is so true. We're all doing the best that we can and nothing is either black or white. Parenting is definitely a very grey area because everyone does it differently and that doesn't mean that one way is better than another (I'm obviously assuming that no one is beating the shit out of their kid). Unfortunately there are the puritans out there who believe in an all-or-nothing way of parenting that puts unnecessary pressure on parents. And sometimes I believe there are mothers who do this to themselves.

We all want things to go perfectly and 'according to plan' but perhaps in such a delicate situation that is, ultimately, out of our control it's best not to have a plan. I remember not paying much attention to the Cesaerian lecture during our pre-natal class, because I assumed that I would just have a normal delivery. Well I was wrong there. But because I wasn't hell-bent on a particular delivery I wasn't affected and I think that helped. When it came to feeding, I started nursing in hospital and all was going well because I had help when it came to latching him, but it was a different story once I got home. Reality kicks in and life becomes somewhat overwhelming and breastfeeding was becoming more and more painful with each feed to the point that I was hunched over and miserable. I spoke to people who all said 'stick with it. The discomfort will pass' and all I could think was 'Discomfort? Do they not remember the sheer pain?' It turned out that I had likely got a fungus that set in the very deep nipple cracks so every time I was latching him on the cracks were re-opened and the fungus was being stimulated. It was a difficult time because you always want to give the best to your baby, but at the same time being a depressed new mother doesn't help anyone. So that evening we bought formula and a breast pump. As luck would have it, the breast pump that I bought had a faulty motor, only I didn't find out till a few days later. I simply thought that it was going to take me ages to pump a decent amount of milk - yet more nursing disappointments. But then I came to the conclusion that the most important thing is that my baby is being fed, whatever the method and that was probably the healthiest train of thought that I had. 

And that's what new mothers need. Healthy and supportive thoughts and decisions that are good both for their baby and for themselves. If I were forced to continue breastfeeding life would be very different right now, and not in a good way. That's not to say that I won't breastfeed when/if we have another child. I will definitely give it another go, I'll just be more prepared and aware of what can happen and what I can do to avoid a recurring situation.

What I'm reminding myself each day is that not only does it get better, but to also appreciate each and every day because he's already grown a lot since Day 1 and he's only going to continue growing so I need to make the most of him at this age/size.

Wish List

No matter how many things you buy and how much you prepare before your baby is born there are always things that you didn't know that you needed. And then there are those things that you just want because they're bound to make life easier, and at this stage, making life easier isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. So my latest 'hobby' is adding items to my Baby Wish List from Amazon. Some things are to help me, others are just extremely cute - Winnie the Pooh night light, anyone? 

Now if only they would invent self-sterilizing bottles.

That is probably the most annoying task of all. Ensuring that you have enough clean bottles and timing it so that you don't switch on the sterilizer until it's full. 

It would also be great if I could plug my thoughts directly to a computer because my blog posts would be much more frequent. I think them out in my head, but when it comes to actually typing them out, I'm not always in the mood to do so. Or sometimes I just don't find the time.

In other great news not only has my pregnancy weight dropped, but I'm actually weighing less than I was before I got pregnant. I still have a jelly belly and stretch marks but I don't mind them - they're there for a very good reason. However I'm glad that the unnecessary extra weight is falling off. In fact I've actually noticed a change in my body shape. The daily walking is clearly taking effect - she says after having eaten half a pizza and half a Ritter chocolate. But it's the only exercise that I can do at the moment due to my stitches. I have to wait another two weeks before doing anything more strenuous, or even driving. 

I've also decided that it's about time that I started cooking some proper and decent meals i.e. not pasta. So if anyone has any recipes/suggestions for me, please let me know. No fish please as Paul isn't a fan.

Welcome Tom

It's been over 3 months since I last posted here. Doesn't really feel like that long, but I suppose I've had other things keeping me busy, namely getting to the end of my pregnancy and actually having a baby. 

Blog posts form in my mind, but between that point and getting to write them down there's a lengthy time lapse which means that they inevitably fizzle out.

So, on Sunday, February 2nd, our gorgeous baby boy was born - Thomas Oliver, though we'll be calling him Tom. He was Oliver for a while whilst I was pregnant but as the name was 'used' it didn't grow on me, on the contrary it started annoying me somewhat so I knew that it couldn't remain as the No.1 option. But it was still a name that I liked so it remained a contender, and it also happens to be a family name. We then decided on Thomas because it's a McKenna family so by joining the two we've got both families covered.

Parenthood is wonderful and exhausting and a little bit scary too. Each day is unlike another and yet they all build on each other. We're very lucky in terms of Tom's sleeping habits as he sleeps well and only wakes for his feeds and settles back down relatively quickly. Having said that he's a very alert baby with his large grey eyes taking in his surroundings (as far as he's able to see anyway). 

There's so much to write about the whole experience that I need to definitely dedicate some more time to this blog, but, as I'm sure all mothers know, time is a precious commodity.

So to end this post, here's Tom.

The Dog and the Pony

A while back we decided to take Kerry to the dog park so that we could see what it was all about, and she would be able to run around without her lead. Unfortunately the signage to the dog park are poor (to put it mildly) so despite us walking in the direction that the arrow pointed we never found the gate.

We did, however, come across the petting farm so we decided that once we were there we'd stroll around and see what it was all about. I had been wanting to visit for a while, and unplanned trips are always fun.

It's a cute little place that's free to enter which is great, and there are little play areas for kids which are very cleverly spaced out so that you don't have a whole group of children congregated in one space - the noise could disturb the animals. 

Kerry was fascinated by the animals, and the pony seemed to take a special interest in her which was very amusing.

Those are little flowers on her head because she decided to go head first into a flower bush

P.S. We're still planning on visiting (and finding) the dog park soon, especially once the cooler weather settles.

Goodbye Second Trimester

My second trimester is practically over and I didn't write anything about it. Mainly because I didn't have much to say. People ask me how I'm feeling and how I'm getting along all the time, and my answer hasn't really changed at all. 

'I'm doing great. I'm probably feeling healthier than when I wasn't pregnant in fact! Apart from some slight discomfort to my back and feeling restless when I've been sitting for a while, I've really been very lucky, thank God.'

Now the third trimester is approaching along with the end of 2013, as 2014 promises to be a year of massive changes that I am so looking forward to. I always thought that I would be petrified of the actual birth process; however, at this moment in time (I stress this because I know that closer to the date this could change completely) I'm not scared of the birth because the prospect and appeal of seeing our baby is so completely overwhelming that it surpasses any feelings of fear. And I'm actually very grateful for this feeling and outlook.

We've started ante-natal classes with a wonderful midwife who is just so down to earth, practical and funny! We're a fairly large group of people and she just has everyone laughing during the 2-3 hour session, while at the same time knowing how to be serious about the serious issues. At least she's not all doom and gloom, coming at you with that air of 'I've been there and you don't know what's going to hit you.' I agree that I probably have no idea as to what's going to hit us, but women have been giving birth for thousands of years and have coped (with less than what we have nowadays) so I think with a generous dose of patience, humour and appreciation we'll be fine.

And here's a tummy pic at 25 weeks +.

Kerry in Pictures

This post is an ode to Kerry - our super cute, super lovable, very daft dog :)  

(These are mobile phone pics so they may not be very clear)

Those beseeching eyes!
"Give me food. No, not my food. Your food. Specifically the food that you are eating at this very moment."
And of course, you do.

One of her favourite positions.
"Scratch my tummy!!"
I no longer bend down to her because it's too much of an effort, so she gets a foot scratching instead.

Her cushion and sanctuary. And where she spends most of her day.

"I still want more scratching..."

 "When is Daddy coming home?"
She really does wait with her nose to the door anticipating his return.

Kerry

Our family grew over the weekend. We're now a family of 3 and a half members - though I suppose even half is a bit exaggerated at this stage :)

Welcome Kerry, our gorgeous black cross lab who will turn 3 in two months time.

We got her from the SPCA because her previous owners didn't want her anymore (can't understand why). She's completely docile, though timid around strangers and we suspect she may be a bit scared of men; she's house-trained, vaccinated, neutered, micro-chipped, walks well on a lead and doesn't bark the place down. In fact, she's super quiet. She loves being petted and if you stop petting her she'll paw at you to let you know that 'you're not done yet, please continue'. And she's already made herself very much at home.

Super Kid

Things I hope I won't do once the baby is born:

• Change my profile picture to one of my child. I'm not my child, I'm still my own person with my own face. A family pic or a pic with me + child is fine, but I don't want to exclude me from my profile.
  
  
• Call him or her 'prince' or 'princess'. I hate it. We are not royalty. It was one of the reasons I refused to wear a tiara for my wedding. Even worse is princep or principessa in Maltese. 'My little ball of drool and poop' is so much cuter anyway.
  
  
• Share unnecessary information about his/her daily life in minute detail. I don't think it's important to let people know that today's poo was of peanut-butter colour and consistency.
• Talk only about my child on this blog! Haha!

I'm sure that there are other things that I notice which irk me somewhat; however, I cannot say what I'm going to end up doing so all I can say is that I hope not to fall into any of the above traps... or worse!

Disclaimer: For any paranoid readers - this list does not refer to any person in particular and any mentions that may be similar to what you/your family/your friends do are purely coincidental and unintentional

First Trimester

This is what my experience of pregnancy has been like (until now).

Morning sickness - Nil. Never. Not even a slight feeling of nausea.

Evening sickness - Occasional (maybe 5 or 6 times) due to eating dinner. This is slightly strange because it's only ever happened when we're eating out. Possibly because the ingredients used in restaurant meals are richer than those at home? What I've learned from this is to chew my food properly and eat slower, so really it's a good thing, because I come from a family of gobblers, which isn't a healthy way to eat. P, on the other hand, eats properly, enjoying each mouthful. I've also taken to ordering small portions whenever I eat out, and sometimes I can't even finish what's in my plate! It's resulted that with my new eating habits the sickness has truly subsided.

Food - I want to eat more often, but only very small portions. As I just mentioned I often cannot even finish a starter portion of food. I'm into wheat at the moment so I want sandwiches (white bread only, which I need to control because wholemeal would be better) and pasta mainly.

Weight gain - Negative. Another really bizarre notion but apparently common and likely due to the change in eating habits. In fact I've actually lost weight, according to the scales, but my shape is changing, according to my clothes.

Tiredness - This has hit with a vengeance, plus the summer heat doesn't help. I'm often asleep by 9:30 pm and I get tired quicker when walking up stairs or hills. There are mornings where I do wake up feeling quite exhausted and I have to make an extra effort to prepare myself for work so I'm hoping that this will get better as the months pass and the weather gets cooler.

I'd say that I'm pretty lucky till now and it's all going very smoothly. Nothing is affecting me terribly and I can cope with the tiredness for the most part.

News Update

A few things have happened since I last updated, but I just haven't been in the mood of blogging and if there's one thing that I don't want to do, it's to feel pressured to update regularly.

1. I had a drastic haircut and changed my hair colour. I needed and wanted to do this especially after having grown my hair for the wedding. It took me a few months to actually get round to it mainly because I thought 'I've spent ages growing my hair, I should enjoy having it long', but in reality I didn't. It was shapeless and tedious. So I went for the chop and had a complete colour change. It was fine at the beginning but I don't like it anymore. Oops. Not the cut, which is fine because my hair grows at extraordinary speed, but the colour... it's just not doing anything for me and I don't think that the summer sun has helped it either. So I'll be heading back to the hairdresser's fairly soon for a remedy.

2. We travelled to UK for the weekend to attend P's niece's Holy Communion. We flew to Liverpool and stayed with my cousins who were the perfect hosts and treated us to a gorgeous dinner and showed us round the dock area of Liverpool which is just beautiful and really cool. And they also didn't complain when my first stop out of the airport had to be a NEXT outlet so that I could buy closed shoes. It was pouring with rain when we landed and clever clogs here only had a pair of open toe wedges (we were flying Ryanair, had to pack light!) We only got to see a very, very little bit of Liverpool but we will definitely go back because it looks to be a brilliant city and one that deserves a few days of visiting. The Holy Communion was a pleasant affair and everyone was very happy, plus the sun shone, so that's always nice. 

3. A good friend of mine got married on a lovely July evening in Valletta. The ceremony was nice with lots of people from different countries present (they both studied abroad and she travels a lot) and the reception was at the gorgeous Lower Barrakka Gardens from which you get a beautiful view out to sea. The band were absolutely super and it was a fun evening.

4. It was my father's birthday on the 14th July. He would have turned 66. It's his first birthday since he passed away so there was a Mass said for him and then we all went out to lunch. I posted a photo of his 64th birthday on Facebook where he's cutting into a birthday cake and I wrote 'I hope they have cake up in the clouds' and a friend of mine replied 'They definitely do' which I thought was the best, most positive reply and I really appreciated it. Thanks Ben.

5. Some of my cousins came to visit from UK and Australia so we met up with them for a pub dinner and just a really fun evening filled with catching up. It was also the first time that P met a couple of them so he got to know them all a lot better too.

6. And, just to save the best for last, on the 11th June we found out that we're expecting a baby. Just eight months into marriage but a perfect time nonetheless. It's still too early to know whether it's going to be a boy or a girl, but I have a hunch, so now we'll see if I'm right or not. We are going to find out because I just think that it's so much more practical that way. Knowing this news obviously meant that I couldn't drink at the above-mentioned wedding, or when in UK, or at any dinner events; however, I don't believe in the whole 'you shouldn't dye your hair when pregnant' old wive's tale. I researched into the matter and there was nothing that I found troubling. What I did stop was the IPL hair removal treatment because I wasn't comfortable with doing it, even though there are no results about its effect on pregnancy. It's such a special time and thankfully everything is going well till now. I obviously wish that my father could still be here because he would have loved to be a nannu. About a week after we got married, I was visiting him in hospital and he asked me 'are you a mummy yet?' It was such a poignant moment.